im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
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