I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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