that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
