Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
