At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it's like heaven, but drunker
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
