You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
