Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
