Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
