Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
