Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
