im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
