you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
