You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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