"it" just moved
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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