just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
