he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
