She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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