you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
