ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
