Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
