Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
