Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
