So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
