the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
