4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
