You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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