dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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