I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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