You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
