Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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