how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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