Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
