first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
