Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
