I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
