im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
