just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
