Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
