We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
