he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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