somebody snuck up and got me drunk
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
