I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
