Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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