sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
