I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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