I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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