It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
