You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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