Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
