Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
