Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
