drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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